Never Forsaken

(Author's note: The spacing is intentional. While it may feel difficult to read at first...try imagining that three people are speaking. Every time your eyes shift left, center, or right...imagaine a new person speaking. It was meant to be artisitic. While I may suck at it...that's the intent, in the hope that the words become more than just words. But something like poetry.)

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One of my favorite scenes

in Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ,

is after Jesus' death on the cross.

The very next thing that happens is a rain drop.

But the coolest part

about that raindrop

is that you can momentarily see

through it

onto the scene below.

It is portrayed as God's tear.

That for a moment,

you see what God sees.

His only Son,

beaten and bruised,

finishes the purpose

for which He was made.

And God's eyes well up with tears.

Yep, definitely one of my favorite

cinematic scenes.

But for more reasons

than just that it's good cinematography.

Because I remember growing up,

and being taught in Sunday School

that when Jesus cried out

"Father, why have you forsaken me?",

that God had in fact

"turned his back on Jesus,

because He is too holy

to look upon sin,

and Jesus at that moment

was covered in our sin,

and therefore,

God had to turn his back."

And you know,

I never thought twice about it

until tonight.

And to explain how I ended up there

in my thoughts

would take too long,

and bore the crap out of you....

and probably confuse you a little.

So let me just recap my train of thought

which led me to uncovering the lie.

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How many times

in my Christian walk

has God's silence

felt like abandonment?

More than I can count!

But because I've learned to quote

Deuteronomy, Joshua, and Hebrews -

"I will never leave you or forsake you."

- I know that my feelings cannot be trusted,

and the truth is that God is there.

I also know from Scripture

that God said to us

that his love for us is demonstrated through the fact that

while we were still sinners

Christ died for us.

And that throughout his ministry,

Jesus kept company with sinners.

So the idea that God cannot look upon sin

due to His holiness

seems pretty rediculous

with some thought.

In fact

I think that I would assert

that God is actually most present

and most near

while we are in the midst of sin.

Especially when we become Christians

because the Holy Spirit is in us,

and therefore God is with us all the time.

Literally.

And Jesus was no different.

We know the Holy Spirit had come upon him

at the beginning of his ministry.

Therefore,

if God was ever so near to His Son,

it was definitely in that moment.

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So why did Jesus say, "Why have you forsaken me?"

Because he was definitely fully human.

And he experienced feelings of abandonment

just like we do.

But that didn't make it true.

And maybe that moment was just for us.

Just so that we would remember

that Jesus truly did experience everything

that we do.

Maybe it was a moment

for us to treasure-

that he knows what it feels like

to not feel God's presence

even though He is in fact

fully present.

And to give us permission to say,

"God, where are You?

I need You more than ever right now,

and I can't feel Your presence....

I feel forsaken."

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Anyways...

you can blow it off

as creative license

if you want,

but in my mind,

that was the most real,

accurate moment

in the film.

I believe with my whole heart

that God cried that day.

And the world thought it was raining.