Prayers, Books, and An Attitude Adjustment!

It's late on a Wednesday night. And I return to work in the morning. So, I don't have the time or energy for a long post, or an insightful one either, perhaps.

But there are a few things which God has placed on my heart to share, despite the hour.

First, a plea for prayer for two people. The first is my grandfather, and subsequently, my family. He is living his last days. We are certain of this now. Although his body is nowhere close to acting 98 years old, his mind and heart are already longing for Heaven. I know that he is desperate to finally go home. To be with the only woman he has ever loved and adored, and the only God he has ever loved and worshipped. The second is for my friend's 3 year old cousin. His name is Jonathon. He was diagnosed a few days ago with brain cancer. They careflighted him to Tennessee, and performed an emergency surgery. They were able to remove about 90% of the tumor, but of course that means that there's still more to get. They will attack the remainder with chemo.

It's hard to pray for my grandfather to finally have the freedom of death. Even though I know he wants it to come quickly. It will be sad to say goodbye to my last living grandparent. It will be sad that he won't live to see me get married or see the great grandchildren I will someday bring into the family. Of course, it's so very much harder to pray for God to let a little toddler live. I know that at some point my grandfather is going to get his wish. I do not know, however, if God will grant us the request for Jonathon's life. And it's just very sad that a little boy who's lived so very small an amount of time would actually have to fight against death, already.

So my heart is heavy for these.

Second is a book recommendation. Well, possibly two. The book that I think I would recommend to everyone is called The Martyr's Song by Ted Dekker. Great book! It includes a CD with the same-named song on it. Amazing song! I listen to it at the highest volume my stereo will go to. And I imagine, when the children sing, that my nephew and my friend's daughter (and other children who have lost the battle to stay on earth for awhile) are in that choir! I can't help the tears that seem to fall each and every time. But even though I've revealed a sense of a sad nature to the book, please, please pick it up. It is well worth the time, and the emotions! Because it is truly alive with the message of hope and joy awaiting us who believe! The second book is a bit thicker, and much harder. I only recommend it to those who are at a point of dissatisfaction with their current methods of Christianity. For those who feel stuck in a Christian world that cares a little too much about do's and don'ts, rights and wrongs - this may be the book for you. But proceed with caution, because it may say some things that might ruffle your conservative, evangelical, modernistic feathers! ;o) If your faith is solid in the foundations, and you feel mature enough to handle asking some questions that you'll have to chew on for awhile, then this book may be right up your alley. It's called A New Kind of Christian by Brian D. McLaren. I've only read the first chapter, but it's really hard to put down. And I'm in that place. I'm tired of the Christianity I see at church, in people who care more about correcting the sin than loving the sinner as is. I'm especially tired of seeing it in myself. I want to love like Jesus loves. So, I'm ready to evaluate some things that I've believed all my life, and find out if they're really God's Truth, or just doctrine. I invite you to join in my journey if you're ready for a crazy and uncomfortable ride!

The last thing is a thought that God put on my heart the other day. Well, more of an image or word-picture, really. There is a minister I'm struggling with right now. Who I'm especially struggling to show mercy to. Mostly because I feel he is unmerciful. And I feel like he isn't living up to the qualifications of a minister in his position. And in the midst of that, I know wholeheartedly that it is truly my own heart that needs to change. It is my attitude that I have the ability and need to correct. So God gave me this:

Being Jesus to someone is not: showing them how much unlike Jesus they are. Being Jesus to someone is: wrapping the hand of God around them and squeezing, to a degree and in such a way, to bring them to a point where the Jesus in them can't help but begin to flow out of them, ever so slowly.

Maybe that was just for me. And I'm not entirely able to articulate the image that God gave me, but this is the best I could do. And I think it is most in relation to those who you want to be self-righteous toward. Those who you want to just shout at: "That's not what Jesus would have done!" I guess in some ways its more about controlling one's own desire to be the convicter. Or maybe what our response should be when we feel that way. I guess, whether or not it already makes sense to you, the best way to explain it is this: When we most want to tell someone how unlike Christ they're acting, what we need to do is draw Christ out of them. Instead of shouting "You're not..!", we should whisper "You are...!"

Just a thought. Or two. As for me . . . goodnight!