"In Sickness and In Health"

Well, today is the first day I've been in a sitting position for longer than 2 minutes, since Thursday afternoon. I don't know what I got, but it was not fun, and it definitely lasted longer than the 24 hours it was supposed to! And I'm still struggling with the remains of some infection or something in my throat. But at least the throwing up is over, I think the fever is finally gone, and I'm not dizzy and weak anymore! I'm still on a regular schedule of Tylenol! And Jello and other soft foods are very much my friends. Swallowing of any kind, however, is not.

I hate being sick. I hate missing work when you can't afford to (literally). I hate feeling like crap. I hate not being able to sit up, but being so uncomfortable laying down. If I've gotten even a small taste of morning sickness, the I say "I'll pass, thanks". Cause I definitely don't want to feel this way for months at a time (two days was way too long).

And I realize that I don't have a lot to complain about. I have a friend who is currently pregnant, and she has been dealing with morning sickness for the last 3 1/2 months. And another pregnant friend who is on bedrest with so many complications and concerns for the baby's health. I have another friend, Jessica, who is fighting a battle with breast cancer. And I know she feels more crappy than I ever have after her chemo treatments. And still another friend, Olivia, climbs mountains every day, under the weight of her disease - Lupus (Systemic Lupus Nephritis, to be exact).

So here I sit, moaning and groaning about my unpleasant (at most) 2 days, while at least two of my friends are fighting for their lives. And another two are fighting for their babies to be born healthy and safe. And I am constantly amazed that God is in the midst of us all. That He cared just as much about my pain and discomfort the last two days as He does for those four friends in their ongoing struggles and pains.

It never ceases to amaze me that it is while I'm throwing up that Satan, like Job's wife in the Bible, tells me to "curse God and die". He taunts me when I am most in need of God's hand, to slap it away. I love Job's response to his wife, "Should we accept good from God's hand, but not trouble?" And it fills me with joy that it is during those times, when I say "I will not", that my mind is flooded with praise and worship songs. Almost as a heavenly response to trust God's presence in the midst of the bad also, come words of truth of God's character and praiseworthy-ness. Because that's really what Job's story was about. Not as a guidebook on how to endure suffering or even as a promise of being blessed 10-fold in the end if we stand firm. But rather a testimony that God is worthy to be praised - even in the midst of suffering. It was God who was on trial, not Job. Job was merely the vessel through whom God would make his case: that He is holy, good, and worthy of praise and glory, even if we do not receive blessings from His hand; even if all we experience is suffering and loss.

I know that my friends are discovering this truth about God's goodness. I know that I learn to believe it more and more every day - especially through each trial and struggle. I hope that He is showing you this too, that He is trustworthy, and praiseworthy, even when things aren't peachy. Even when life truly sucks. Even when you're puking your guts up. Even when you don't have a clue how to pay off your debts. Even when things are at their most possible worst. He's there, in the midst of you, ready to provide the hope that "this too shall pass", tomorrow is a new day, with new hopes, and even if the problems of yesterday aren't gone, you will be given the strength to get through it, to work through them. It really is true: "When you are weak, He is strong!" Believe it, experience it, test it, trust it, know it. The Lord fights for you, He is strong in battle, and mighty to save.