My Three "A-HAs"

I love being surrounded by Christians for a weekend. (Insert small drops of sarcasm).
Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad. I did come away analyzing, questioning, searching, forming new opinions and arguments. And that's where I am.

I attended a conference for "20 and 30 somethings" called Fusion in Irving on Saturday. It was part of our college groups DNow Weekend activities. I went last year and loved it. This is its second year of existance - so check out the website, and try to attend if you can (Orlando in February, and Denver in April - or Dallas next year!)

Anyways...so I've been struggling the past few weeks with the questions: What is my passion? What would be my ideal career? What was I created to do for the rest of my life?

Obviously missions, in some sense of the word (meaning: maybe as a vocation, definitely as a lifestyle), is part of my answer. But what drives me? What stirs my soul? What would I want to do all day, go home, go to bed, get up, and do all over again the next day, for every next day I have? I still don't know the answers. But I think I'm closer.

A woman by the name of Margaret Feinberg spoke at the conference. And I mean it, she was speaking directly to me! She was making statements that have been pounding in my soul the last few weeks. Like being in a place of not having a direction and working a series of part-time, non-careerish jobs and knowing that there's something out there that would ignite me...I just have to find it! That's exactly where I am! And so it was cool, because God revealed to her, when she was in that place, her passion for writing. And now, a few books later, she's experiencing that igniting thing! I went to her break-out session. And she talked about creativity (which I think is another piece of my "passion-puzzle"), and how it is given/entrusted to us for three things. 1) To bring us back to the Creator. 2) So that we can give it to others as a means of blessing and encouragement. And 3) For us, as a gift from God to us, so that it causes our soul to come alive!

So, that was my first "A-HA" moment of the weekend.

The second "A-HA" happend on Saturday night, while Lance Shumake (of iWitness Ministries, and co-MC of last years' Fusion) spoke at our Saturday Night Service (cool name, huh? very creative!) to kick off our "Missions Emphasis Month" he was reading out of Matt 9:35-38. And while he was talking about the point he was making, my eyes just sat glued to this passage that I've read I-don't-know-how-many-times-before! And for the first time something hit me! (Not literally.) I looked at the word "workers" (keep in mind that I'm undergoing some major theological transition right now, so this has to do with being in that state of mind), and I asked: "What work are the workers sent to do?"
And then analyzed that it has something to do with the ones being harvested. So then I asked: "What does it say about the state of those being harvested?" I found the answer to be: they are "harassed", "helpless", and "like sheep without a shepherd".
So then I came to the conclusion that the worker (which we interpret as "missionary") isn't (in this passage, at least) sent in order to "tell them how to accept Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior, be baptized, and learn how to secure their eternal destiny as taking up residence in some vague place called Heaven", but rather to respond to their current state.
In other words, the job of the worker is to: defend against the harasser, help them become fortified and strong, take on the role of a shepherd (i.e. lead, take care of the physical/emotional/spiritual needs, guide, protect against danger, etc.).

Then I asked myself: "What is Jesus doing in this passage?" The answer I got is: going through the town (i.e. hanging out with people), teaching in the synagogue, preaching the Good News of the Kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness.
"So what should we be doing in our mission fields?" Hanging out with the people, teaching the churched (perhaps, how to be like Christ instead of like Pharisees!), preaching the Gospel (which I think needs to be redefined) to those who aren't churched, and offering/providing/bringing healing into people's lives.

The third "A-HA" moment occurred after my 432 group meeting last night. Although I don't know if it was as much "a-ha" as "hmmm..."! So we talked about a lot of things. Some of which led us back to the creation story. A statement was brought up that I've heard before, but haven't given much thought to. "If God created light before he created the sun, moon, and stars, where did the light come from?(Gen 1)" Because if you look, it's not talking about his own light, it's talking about the light he created and then separated from darkness.

I had previously decided it wasn't a question worth wrestling with at the time, I was simply ok with it being a mystery. Still am. But for some reason, a thought popped into my head last night. A what if. Not an "I've figured this out.", just a "Hmmm...?" What if the "light" was Jesus? Not Jesus in the sense of part of the Trinity not existing and now existing. But Jesus in the sense of "the one who will be a Messiah, a Redeemer of a fallen, sinful people. Jesus is called "the light of the World", so what if Gen 1:3 is the birth of Jesus' purpose to come? I think I might interject that this thought process relates to a belief I hold concerning God's involvement in "The Fall". Which isn't one that many hold. But maybe if you consider this "light theory" of mine, you might allow yourself to wrestle with the notion that God had a role in the fall of man that we aren't very willing to give him.

Here's what I mean.
I think we use Scripture, in some ways, to box ourselves in to a very limited view of God. I think as evangelicals, we can tend to get a little Pharisaical in our understanding of God's character. (Meaning we're not willing to allow room for our understanding/interpretation of Scripture to be wrong or incomplete.) Esepecially when we ask, "Where is that in the text?" and suggest/propose/believe/ascertain that God has limited himself in any way through the revelation of the Bible we hold in our hands. I believe that we are sorely mistaken if we believe that God has ever, by any means, limited himself through anything. I don't believe God has any limitations, even any imparted by his own actions. I do not believe that even the "will of man" (free or otherwise) limits God in any way. So I grow frustrated with the way I've been taught to use Scripture as a means of suggesting to God that his character is limited to my (fallable) interpretation of that Scripture. Just because "I haven't seen it anywhere in Scripture", doesn't make it untrue...it means I need to keep looking with an open heart and mind, willing to be challenged, corrected, and changed by God revealing himself in new ways. Because by no means have I got God figured out, or will I ever! That's my soapbox for today!

And that was my final "A-HA" moment for the weekend.
Thanks for listening.
Comments and questions are always welcome!